Beckett’s Last Mixtape – Chapter Two

RYAN

 

I saw this girl today and holy shit dude! No kidding.

Like it’s been a few weeks since school started so I don’t know why I never noticed her before, I guess because of our schedules or something but anyway she is nice!

So of course I didn’t talk to her, I mean how could I?

Like I dated this girl Laura last year in junior high for a few weeks but it was honestly kind of lame and neither of us really knew what to do with each other so we mostly listened to her sister’s Def Leppard and Twisted Sister tapes and talked about The Cosby Show and that we both thought Denise Huxtable was fucking hot.

She did take her shirt off once which was cool. Laura, not Denise Huxtable. We were at her house after school but then her mom came home and we were like Oh crap! and that’s as far as we got.

But this girl I saw today in the breezeway she made Laura look like a . . . shit, I dunno, but whatever she’s beautiful.

Our school doesn’t have indoor hallways, which is weird. I guess because it can’t ever snow. It’s only ever hot or not too hot, that’s basically it. I kind of like it, you don’t get that stuffy smell like you do in indoor hallways.

I was walking toward the arts department after AP Bio because the last few days the route I usually took was all jocks walking to the gym and they always bumped into me and shit on purpose so I was on the hunt for a new way to get to my Drama Level 1 class and this girl was walking the opposite way with this other chick who was also kinda cute and stuff but not as cute as this girl in the blue skirt and white shirt. She has short sort of sandy colored hair and was wearing these round sunglasses that reminded me of John Lennon.

The two of them were talking and talking and talking and when we passed. I spun on one toe of my white Nikes and started following thinking maybe I’d say something to her.

But then like I couldn’t. The harder I tried to say something the harder it got to say anything. I was so close I could overhear them talking about their grades. The really cute one was like failing everything or something, even her music class and I thought how the hell do you fail music?

Then they turned right down the sidewalk and went into the first classroom there and I just kept walking past because I mean, what the hell else was I supposed to do?

So what I’m gonna do is Monday I’m gonna make sure I’m in that same place the same time right after AP Bio and I’m gonna say hi.

Or something.

 



Hello, my friend! I hope you’re enjoying the story. Take a look at other stories and more at my linktree here:

linktr.ee/tomleveen

See you soon!
~ Tom

Beckett’s Last Mixtape – Chapter One

Friday, October 5, 1990

 

BECKETT

 

 

While it’s still only the first quarter of my first year at Camelback High School, so far my grades are a steady chord progression of Cs and Ds with an occasional F. When I walk home for lunch and Dad shows me this mid-term report, I call it the sheet music for “House of the Rising Sun.”

Dad gets the joke, but doesn’t think it’s funny. He looks pretty pissed, and it’s making me nervous.

I’d thought I would have time to bring my grades up before first-quarter report cards were sent home, but it turns out the school keeps track of things like this. And lets parents know.

Dad frowns at me as he re-strings his turquoise Rickenbacker bass. Mom hides in their bedroom, but that’s not unusual. She’d been apathetic about most things lately, including my grades.

Lately meaning like a year or more.

Actually . . . that might just be since I noticed.

After third period today, Anthony Lincoln invited me to his family cookout tomorrow afternoon at their house. I’ve known him since we were little, and our families have hung out many times. His family plans to talk on the phone to his brother Mike who’s halfway around the world. I didn’t think going to the cookout would be a big deal, but the mail’s arrived and Dad’s not too keen on letting me go.

“The cookout’s for all of us,” I tell Dad as he balances the bass on one knee. “We’re all invited.”

Dad and Mom have a gig tonight. At the shows, Dad’s hair reflects a rainbow of stage lights: orange, yellow, blue. Right now, the Phoenix sun shining through the living room window in our apartment reveals that his long, light brown hair has strings of gray in it that match the steel strings he guides through the bridge and bridge saddles.

I keep talking, hoping to distract him. “Antho said specifically that his parents want you and Mom to come, too. Ashley’ll be there, and her mom and dad—”

“But those grades, kid,” Dad says, spinning a machine head to wind the E string tight. “You need to spend every extra hour you got on getting those things up.”

Mom walks by right then, from their bedroom to the kitchenette. No—not walks. Shuffles. With bare feet. Her shoulder-length hair is clumpy and spaced as far apart as strings on a harp. She’s got a cup of coffee in her hand but I don’t see any steam. But there’s a new pot bubbling away on the counter, filling our shared space with the aroma of store-brand coffee. The coffee at Antho’s house smells a lot better.

“Of course she can go,” Mom says through half-closed eyes. She’s probably taken one of her pills. “It’s the Lincolns, Rob. It’s fine.”

“This isn’t about the Lincolns, Jennifer, it’s about Beckett’s grades, did you see this note?”

He points to the TV tray beside his chair. Gray fluffy stuffing sticks out the back of the seat. The little pink card with my current grades is from one of the Vice Principals, or at least his office, saying that I’m basically in danger of failing almost everything from Art to English. Even my music class is a C.

I haven’t been going lately.

Mom stops. Stares at nothing. She’s wearing a frayed yellow bathrobe open over loose jeans and a puckered black bra that may be older than me.

To Dad’s question, she has only this response:

“No.”

Then she goes on into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Mazzy Star starts up a second later. Red, oh red, the taste of blood . . .

Dad looks at the closed door for longer than a second before blinking and turning back to his instrument. His frown is deeper.

“We don’t know when we can talk to Mike again,” I tell Dad, and sit on our sun-faded brown couch against the wall. I punch the middle of my long blue linen skirt between my knees. “Antho said stuff’s really heating up over there.”

“Bush ran the CIA, he knows not to start a war with Iraq,” Dad says, winding another string. “Mike’ll be fine.”

“Still . . . come on, Dad, please?”

He sighs. “Why the bad grades, kid? What’s going on, huh? You on something? Is there some boy? What?”

I sit back and tap the fingers of my left hand rhythmically against my thumb. The callouses feel like the heel of my foot. Of all people, Mom and Dad should understand why I’m not spending a ton of time on homework. I just want what they have. To be out there, doing it. Making the music. Performing.

Dad isn’t so hip on the idea. Looking around the room, I guess I sort of understand why. Antho’s parents are both lawyers—and he probably will be too—and they have a beautiful house in Scottsdale, with polished hardwood floors and a red brick patio and barbeque. We live in a two-bedroom upstairs apartment with second- and third-hand furniture. The carpet springs curled pigtails of green thread every few feet. I haven’t gotten new clothes since Mom’s mother died a few years ago. Grandma Sue used to come into town once a year and take me shopping as both Christmas and birthday gifts while clucking about Mom and Dad’s “chosen profession.” The three of us shop at Goodwill when we need something.

All of which is fine with me.

And that’s my point. I’m used to it, but this is not what Dad “wants for me.”

Which is kind of hypocritical. He never graduated high school. He’s been gigging since he was like fifteen. Far as I’m concerned, that means I’m ready.

Dad plucks the unplugged bass, tuning it by ear. The E string rings out, tickling the soles of my bare feet.

“It’s just, it’s this one song,” I say. “I’ve been working on it since summer. It’s for Ashley and Antho.”

This gets Dad’s attention. He stops tuning. “A song, huh? What do you got so far? Let’s hear it.”

“I can’t, it’s not ready. It’s barely even chords yet.”

“Got lyrics?”

“They’re like . . . absent words, in my soul, sing to you alone . . . I don’t know.”

Dad resumes tuning the A to the E, “Damn. That voice of yours, kid. Gets me every time, you got that from your mom. Jesus. Okay, sorry, focus: this stuff with your grades. It’s gotta stop, Beck. You gotta bring those things up. Okay?”

Sensing a break, I say, “Yes. I’ll take care of it.”

“All right.” He tunes the A to the D.

I lean forward. “So I can go tomorrow?”

“All right. This time. But I will remember this conversation when your report card comes in.”

I get up and hug him. “Thank you! Are you guys coming?”

“It’s tomorrow night? No, we have a show at the Jar.”

“I’ll them you wanted to.”

Dad tunes the G to the D. “Yeah, do. Haven’t seen the Lincolns in a while.”

That’s true. I see Antho at school every day, but we haven’t gotten all the families together since maybe seventh grade.

I get a glass of water from the tap and go into my room, determined to get a head start on my math homework.

. . . Except instead, I pick up my Gibson Epiphone from its stand beside my window and play along with She Hangs Brightly bleeding through the thin wall from their bedroom. I’ve already figured out most of the chords.

Neither Mom nor Dad says anything about me playing instead of doing homework. I play through lunch.

And fifth period.



Hello and welcome to Beckett’s Last Mixtape!

Beckett was originally going to be a thesis for my MFA. Things happened, as things often do, and now I’m bringing it to life here on this platform as a serial novel instead.

Because I want you to have it.

When I was a kid, I told and wrote stories endlessly. Handwritten…typed on a manual typewriter…acted out in my backyard…recorded as improvised audiobooks.

And then, sometimes, I shared them. With Jennifer at the back of the school bus. With Jene during lunch. With teachers. With Brendan around the corner in my neighboorhood.

With anyone who’d take the time to read or listen.

It was me at my best, and so I want to do it again.

I hope you enjoyed Chapter One. I hope to post twice a month. Let me know what you think at any of the usual socials – pick your fave, leave me a message!

Thanks for being here.

~ Tom

 

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Scissors

His mother always cut his hair. From the time he was very, very little to now, when he was a determined and energetic six year old who would fight dragons in the back yard with a wooden sword crafted by his father.

But his father was gone now, and James didn’t understand. He didn’t understand the yelling and screaming that he’d heard from Mommy and Daddy’s bedroom the last several weeks. He didn’t know who “Sandra” was, because that wasn’t his mother’s name. Her name was Annie.

He sat still now in the kitchen, gripping the edges of the tall chair where he always sat for his haircut.

“Mommy?”

His mother hummed a tune James did not recognize as she spread out a red dishtowel on the counter.

“What,” she said, not looking at him.

James considered not asking the question as his mother placed all her crafting shears on the dishtowel, like a surgeon before operating.

“Is Daddy still coming over today?”

“Mmm-hmm,” his mother said through lips pressed tightly together.

“Is he going to stay here tonight?” He hadn’t, not in weeks, and no one would tell James why.

Mommy did not answer.  She continued humming.

James squirmed in the chair. His nose itched, but the white zip ties around his wrists prevented him from scratching. He managed to rub his shoulder against the itch.

James looked down at his wrists. Mommy had never done this before.

“Mommy?”

She finished organizing the scissors on the dishtowel and brushed her hands as if to free them from dirt. “What.”

“How come I can’t move my arms?”

“You move around too much,” Mommy said. “You need to stay still.”

“I will. I’ll stay still.”

“No, you won’t.”

She walked out of the kitchen. James listened to her go in to the garage and open Daddy’s big red tool chest. He knew the sound well. Daddy always used the tool chest when fixing the car or doing some repair around the house. He always asked James to help, which James delighted in. He even knew the difference between a flat head and a Philips, which made Daddy so proud.

If he wasn’t going to stay tonight, who would fix the holes Mommy put into their bedroom walls with her feet and hands over the past few nights?

Mommy returned with a green nylon cargo strap. Before James could ask what that was for, she dropped a loop of it over his body so it ran across his chest. With a series of brass clicks, she tightened the strap so his body was held rigid against the back of the chair.

“Mommy?”

“What.”

“What are you doing?”

“I told you, you move around too much.”

“I won’t, I promise. This hurts.”

Mommy stopped answering. She went to the counter and picked up her heavy steel Fiskers scissors, the ones she used to cut cloth. The others she used for all sorts of crafts: pinking shears that made little triangle cuts. Detail scissors for snipping little bits off paper or cloth. Others.

“Where is the shaver?” James asked.

“We’re not shaving today.” She snipped the Fiskers in the air. The blades caught the overhead light and glittered. Snip snip!

She turned to face him.

“Daddy sure does love you, doesn’t he, James?”

He didn’t like the way she asked it. But, not wanting to upset her, he said, “Uh-huh.”

“He sure does,” Mommy went on and took a step closer. “Your hair is the same color as his, isn’t it, James?”

She gestured with the scissors. Snip snip.“Yeah,” James agreed. He didn’t like how his heart was beating so fast. It was very uncomfortable.

“And you have his chin. With the little dimple?”

Snip snip.

 “Uh-huh?”

“And of course, you have his pretty blue eyes.”

James shrank back as Mommy drew nearer. Mommy looked very, very different than usual. Even from when she was angry. She was smiling, but not like a good smile.

“Y-yes . . .” James whimpered.

“Yes,” Mommy repeated, now standing right in front of him. “You look just like Daddy.”

She raised the scissors.

“Let’s fix that.”

Snip snip.

 

THE END

 

Wow, that was messed up, I’m sorry. Not really, but sort of. Man. Well, if you enjoyed that, you might enjoy my horror novel Now You Don’t – a horror novel

Omnihumans

He’ll sacrifice anything to save them . . . except being human.

The world became aware of them sixty years ago: people with remarkable physical and sometimes psychic power, often with terrifying deformities. Most folks call them deviants or use slurs like “deev.” They call themselves omnihumans.

Manic is a federal officer whose job is to take down allegedly dangerous deevs. He loves it, and he’s damn good at it. He’d wipe ’em all off the face of the earth if he could, because every deev out there is a threat to mankind, including his only child—even if she is a naïve college girl devoted to protecting the civil rights of the very deviants he arrests.

When his daughter’s tuition funds suddenly run out, Manic accepts a high-paying, off-the-books gig assassinating individual deevs. But after learning a deviant he’s killed was hunting down gangsters trafficking in the bodies and minds of children, Manic inherits his quest.

But Manic’s identity and clarity of purpose are thrown into chaos when he uncovers the concrete labyrinth where the gangsters are doing their dirty work and finds a vigilante deviant who’s also trying to destroy the organization. Humans, he’ll learn, can be far worse than any deev. And protecting those most innocent may not only cost his life . . . but his humanity . . .

Bram Stoker Award finalist Tom Leveen introduces you to a world far too much like our own in this gritty, supernatural noir novel.

We All Have an Origin Story

My wife and I were driving home from seeing a superhero movie one night and talking about it as normal people do after a movie. I believe it was a sequel; possibly Spider-Man 3 or something like that. I mentioned that I really tend to prefer the first films in a series, not just because they are any better necessarily, but because I really love origin stories.

“That makes sense,” Joy said. “Since that’s what you write.”

And I thought–but had the common sense not to say–“Oh, no no no, sweetie love. No no no, I write contemporary young adult fiction, not superhero stories.”

What I said was, “Huh?” (Which I say a lot.)

She answered, “Well, what is being a teenager if not your origin story?”

BAM! She was absolutely right. All young adult (YA) and middle-grade (MG) fiction is, essentially, origin stories. We may not see where these characters end up as adults, but we see who they are in the process of becoming, and that process, universal certainly to Western civilization over the past 100 years or so, but possibly the world throughout, is the story we’re telling.

I’m fairly sure I’ve changed a lot since I was a teenager. At least, I hope so! But boiled down, how different am I really? How have my core beliefs and attitudes changed since then? What matters to me, what I care about, who I am attracted to romantically and otherwise? I mean, cripes, my best friends from high school are my best friends today. A lot of them still live within driving distance.

Why YA?

I don’t know why exactly I am attracted to these origin stories; maybe it’s because only recently have I become as … alive as I was back then, and so revisiting that deep well of nostalgia is somehow cathartic. Maybe there’s an ethos in being a teenager that appeals to me. (Probably that’s it.) Or maybe it’s just that things of the Adult World bore me silly. Dance clubs and alcohol and mortgages and credit cards and keeping up with the Whomevers and watching reality TV…yawn. My family is about as middle class and nuclear as they come (few and far between these days, I know), yet we don’t strive for the things others in our demographic seem to.

Or maybe I just haven’t accepted that I’m forty-something goddamn years old yet. A distinct possibility. But the best part of being older is you (usually) have money to buy all the crap you couldn’t when you were 14, so that’s a plus.

Part of my attraction to YA too I think is, frankly, the brutality of it. Not that this necessarily goes away as people age, but most of us become at least somewhat socially aware as we get older and stop making assholes of ourselves. (Some, not all!) But kids don’t have those filters in place yet, I think, as a whole. Shit just comes out of their mouths before they can stop to think about the ramifications of it, and while sometimes that’s straight up funny, other times–a lot of times–it is devastating. Even … fatal, I am sorry to say. So there is always drama to be teased out and studied, like I did with Random, a book inspired by very true and very awful circumstances. Being a teen is far too often a real-life Hunger Games.

On the flip side, though–the good side, the great side–I think it’s the bigness of everything at that age that I keep wanting to write about. Everything is new when you hit junior high and high school. You’ve learned so much about the world and yet know so little. My dad once said something like, “Tom, I’m sixty-five years old, and am just now realizing that I don’t know shit.” Teenagers, happily for us writers, don’t labor under this problem, as they have the solutions for everything. I know I did. I probably still do, actually, which is why I write YA…?

This is one reason I get so bent out of shape when teens are dismissed. Come on, man, it was mostly teens and very young adults who saved the fucking planet in the 1940s. They know the score. They have the passion to get things done, and I for one say let ’em. It’s not like adults have a great track record with human rights, amen?

But Why Else?

Maybe, too, it’s my theatre background, which is dependent on dialogue to function. I feel like my teenage years were filled with nothing but dialogue. Phone calls and hanging out, all the time. All night, all day. We didn’t have money or much else, and we were lucky if someone had a car. Three bucks, a Super Big Gulp, and a pack of smokes, we were good to go. I know this is an ancient and largely romanticized picture to paint, but it’s true. I’d say, on average, I spent five afternoons and/or evenings with one or more of my friends, away from school. After school, at night, on the weekend, whatever, we were together. For about a year, maybe two, my buddy Damon would come pick me up in his old blue Chevy pick up at least once a week, and we’d drive to some random location, pop in some Skoal, and talk for two hours or more on whatever-the-fuck.

So talking, dialogue, is very much a part of our teen lives, and since dialogue is what I was trained in, so to speak, maybe it’s only natural that I gravitated to YA.

Or maybe it’s simply that the first full-length novel I really completed was written at age 19, about 19-year-olds. That’s outer limit for YA these days, yes, but certainly its topics, tone, and ideas were squarely in the YA genre. (This book later became Zero.)

This Is Why:

My latest book, Mercy Rule, is definitely a YA novel, but the thing about that genre and most of the books in it — particularly the realistic contemporary stuff — is that it speaks not just to teens, but to a large swath of adults who remember those years vividly but who made it out the other side. Mercy Rule is a tough book, I’m not gonna lie, and it’s definitely an origin story for several of its characters. But it’s also about the origin stories that never got to be told to completion. (You’ll understand when you read it.) And to me, the most important part of all this is that someone who needs to read it gets ahold of it and says, “Yeah, this guy gets me.” It’s the biggest compliment I’ve ever been paid with my novels. I need these readers to Stay Here and help get the rest of the world out of the goddamn dark ages.

Teenagers are superheros, if we let them. Superman was not born Superman; he was Clark Kent long before he put on the cape. He’s a hero not for his powers, but for the way his family raised him to care about others. He could have just as easily been found by Lex Luthor’s family. “Kansas farm boy makes good” isn’t much of an origin story, but it turned out one hell of a super man.

I hope I do the same.

 

Lucky 13

Howdy, friends and neighbors. Here is a quick sample of my National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) novel, Lucky 13. Some of you might recognize a name and a bit of history. Now let’s see if it’s any good! Leave a note below in the Facebook comments box (so that I know the Facebook comments box is working). And if you’d like to comment on the new look and functionality of the site itself, I’d appreciate that, too.

Thank you! Now, I’m pleased to offer you…Chapter One of Lucky 13. Let me know if you’d read more.

Take care, and congrats to all my fellow Nanos. 🙂

~ Tom

P.S. There is some gore and violence, but nothing worse than anything in, say, Sick. FYI.

LUCKY THIRTEEN

Chapter One

 

The first time Tanin Thirteen asked Murphy how old he was, Murphy’s wrinkled face broke into a smile Tanin had only rarely encountered in the village. Then Murphy laughed, which made Tanin follow suit; a strange sound, a foreign sound in her own ears. There was little to laugh at in Base Camp.

Murphy laughed aloud, and at first, it had seemed it would be as short-lived as the little bean sprouts the two of them were collecting that day. When his laugh began to slow and trickle to a stop, Murphy’s gaze happened to land on young Tanin, and the old man started laughing all over again. He laughed so hard he doubled over as if cramped. Soon his knees buckled, and he teetered forward at first, then backward, landing on his bottom.

“What?” Tanin said, her ribs squeezing laughter out of dry lungs.

But Murphy only went on, precious tears dripping from the corners of his eyes. He lifted his knees and wrapped his arms around them, making a basket for his head. His broad shoulders shook so much, Tanin thought his ancient once-black duster coat might split.

Tanin sat down across from him in the dust and watched him, wondering why the question should send the old man into such shudders. As time went on and he didn’t stop, Tanin began to fear she’d driven Murphy insane. If the stories he told were all true, and she had no reason to think they weren’t, perhaps Murphy’s insanity had only been a matter of time.

“What?” she asked again, her own giggles having already petered out.

Murphy looked up from his arms and knees. Tanin realized he had ceased laughing some moments before, and now only wept. Something in her heart lurched to the right; her heart, maybe, but Murphy had taught her that no matter what some of the spiritualists in the village said, the heart was an organ like any other and not some metaphysical thing. It was better, he taught, to not form more than the most cursory emotional attachments. Feelings like loyalty could be prized for their unifying functions, which was crucial in battle. Feelings like love got people eaten.

Murphy wiped his eyes and stared at the girl. “Too old,” he answered. “Way too old, kid.”

Not the most satisfying answer for an adolescent, but Tanin didn’t push. Murphy got to his feet with the combined posture of a man in his seventies and a boy in the prime of his youth.

He extended a calloused hand to her. Tanin took it and let him pull her to her feet.

“I don’t mean to laugh,” he said. “And certainly not at you. It’s just, no one has asked that question in a very long time. They don’t understand, Tanin. They don’t know what it was like.”

She left her hand in his, enjoying the sandpaper texture and strength in his fingers. “What was it like?”

He kept his ancient eyes on hers for a long moment, then moved away. Tanin noticed his hand fall with easy familiarity and not a bit of paranoia to the hilt of his sword.

“Maybe later,” he said, scanning the immediate area for the sick. “Let’s finish with the stills first.”

Tanin nodded, picking up the rusty handle of a little red wagon that she would never understand was once used as a toy, back in a time when children didn’t have to grow up so fast and the world wasn’t dusted in shades of black and white.

She had never seen the sun.

* * *

The man awoke knowing his true purpose.

Even before his eyes opened, he knew. This band of so-called soldiers had shown it to him in no uncertain terms before they died. Most likely, he mused, they hadn’t even known it. No, they’d been so busy bleeding and screaming that the thought that he, their new god, was doing them a courtesy probably never occurred to them. It made sense, then, that they didn’t realize they had shown him, in their dying, the way that he must go. The word that he must spread.

Ah, well, he thought. Live and learn!

So to speak.

He opened his eyes, smiling. His sleep had been long and luxurious, propped up in a sitting position against the rear right-side tire of a small once-red pickup. All colors were “once,” he thought, still smiling. Once-red, once-yellow, once-blue. Color had ceased to have real meaning or value now that the world had been dusted with ash. He saw no reason to mourn the loss. In fact, he decided, one of his first decrees would be that all his subjects must wear only shades of gray. Not a difficult law to follow; who would waste water on washing clothes? They’d only grow dingy again beneath the ashfall.

No, the man thought, better to embrace the world as it was. Gods and devils and angels and demons had no purpose here. The truth mattered. The truth was all that mattered. Humanity mattered.

He pulled himself to his feet and coughed. Gray particles puffed from his lips, making him smile again. He turned to survey the carnage on the truck: Four men, dead, their blood already congealed and no longer flowing. In the bed of their truck, a silver suitcase tried to shine but failed. The case was locked, but he knew he had an eternity to find a way to get it open. Such precious cargo never existed in all the world. He wondered idly how many he might inoculate, how much serum lay within the case; enough for only one? Two? Ten? A hundred?

Well. He’d find out eventually.

“And out came another horse,” he said to the dead men as he pulled their bodies from the vehicle. “And its rider was given permission to take peace from the earth, and he was given a great sword.”

The bodies thunked against the hard-packed ash. It had formed bricks as hard as concrete after so many years of rain and compression. He shut the tailgate and paused, resting his forearms against it.

“I’m gonna need a great sword,” he told them.

One of the men groaned.

The man furrowed his brow and came around the side of the truck. The would-be soldier, dressed in mismatched camouflage, lolled his head to one side, wincing.

“Hey, look at you!” the man said, and walked over to the man. The soldier tried to raise a hand as he beheld the man coming nearer. “You’re still in it to win it, buddy. I like that. You got guts.”

The soldier whined as the man pulled a knife from a sheath on his leg, then screamed as the man plunged it into the soldier’s midsection.

“You do, you got guts. What, you don’t believe me?”

The man tore the knife in a wicked Z-shape through the soldier’s flesh. He held up the blade, which dripped loops of intestine.

“Here they are!”

He smiled as the man’s scream turned to a cry, then a wail, then a squeal. After choking for another minute, the soldier died.

“It’s nothing personal,” the man said. “But I mean, come on, you’re wearing Vietnam-era jungle pattern camo, buddy. Chrissake, that’s not gonna hide you from anything out here. Clearly. Also? Too trusting. That’s gonna cost ya.”

He searched the bodies for food, and was rewarded with a few small plastic sacks of potatoes and assorted trail mixes and rations. They’d do.

The man sat crosslegged beside the bodies and began to eat. It was a habit, not a need, he knew. Eating brought a certain joy even if it wasn’t essential anymore.

“Yep,” he said. “It’s gonna cost all of ya. That is the wages of sin, I’m afraid. But don’t you worry. I’m gonna set things right. You’ll see. Well, ha! Not you personally, of course. But the people you came from. Wherever you called home. You had a mission, and I respect that. Now I’ve got one, too. Thank you. We’ll make things right. Oh, yes. God may have abandoned you, but I won’t. Nope. Not me. I’m in it to win it. Here for the long haul.”

He finished the potatoes and wiped his hands on the shirt of one of the dead men.

“The longest haul the world has ever seen,” he said, and got to his feet.

He surveyed the dim landscape, something out of an apocalypse—miles upon miles of nothing but gray, the sun a dim disc hidden for years above the ash cloud above.

Kind of pretty, in its own special way.

“Take it easy,” he said to them, and hiked into the truck. It started with a cough, and the man wondered how long it could survive in the gray ash choking the air. Probably a ways, he figured; probably they’d put a new filter in the engine, or maybe even figured out a way to jury-rig some kind of new type of filter that would allow cars to go further than before. Between the silver case and risking traversing the ash storm of middle America, they were obviously going somewhere important. Important to them, anyway. Important to someone.

Not to him.

He turned the car around and pointed it in the direction the men had come from, his big frame seated uncomfortably in the small cab.

He was a new kind of prophet for a new kind of age, and that suited him fine.

* * *

Tanin helped Murphy collect water from the solar stills and from dozens of evaporators surrounding Base Camp. The stills were constructed of scraps of wood, plastic, and sheets of glass pirated from any one of a dozen sources. Not particularly graceful, the stills cleaned standing and other filthy water by the simple process of distillation. Clean condensation formed on the tilted underside of the glass, which then ran into a tube or gutter and down again into a collection receptacle—a plastic bottle, a tin can, a canteen . . . anything would do. The process didn’t eliminate every toxin from the water source, but it was better than nothing. Outbreaks of cholera and the like had been drastically reduced since implementing the system. But the stills could only provide so much. Tanin knew without Murphy telling her that sooner or later, Base Camp would become untenable without a source of clean water. The problem was—she knew again without being told—no one had any idea where the next closest supply of clean water might exist. Whether clean water existed anywhere, in fact, was a subject of much debate during the nightly elder meetings she would listen in on.

Murphy rarely spoke at the meetings, despite his place as the oldest immortal among them. He detested the term “immortal,” and told her so on many occasions. No one was immortal, he’d growl as they gathered their distilled water. One solid blow to the head, a fall from some great height, being stabbed in the heart, being torn apart by the sick . . . oh, there were plenty of ways to die, he would say, and none of them pleasant.

The price of semi-eternal life was a painful and gruesome death.

Murphy never said that to Tanin, because Tanin again didn’t need to be told. She’d seen it.

“The walls won’t hold much longer,” Murphy said as they re-set a still with brackish water taken from a puddle near the village. “We’ll need to move soon.”

“What about the woods?” Tanin said. “We could cut down more trees, extend our line of sight.”

Murphy said nothing for a moment as he wiped clean the inside of the still with a rag. Tanin tried to wait patiently for him to reply, but patience did not come easy to her.

“I just mean, it would benefit us both ways,” she said. “Reinforce the walls, plus be able to see further out.”

“I heard you.” Murphy picked up a blue plastic five-gallon bottle, half-full, and slung it over his shoulder. “But it will only delay the inevitable. They’re getting smarter.”

Tanin couldn’t hold back a snort of disbelief, which she regretted immediately. She hated to disrespect him. Others, it didn’t bother her too much.

“I take it you don’t believe me,” Murphy said. He nodded toward the next still and they walked toward it together.

“It’s offensive, it’s an offensive thought,” Tanin said. “They’re animals.”

“Yes. But animals learn from experience. Imagine a day when the sick can work together. Plan attacks. Coordinate.”

“I can’t imagine that,” Tanin said, scowling. “It’s not possible.”

“Very possible,” Murphy said. “And as I said, perhaps even inevitable.”

“If you were right . . . if that happened, then everything would change.”

They reached the next still.

“Yes,” Murphy said. “Such as?”

Another one of his lessons. Tanin almost laughed, but such a sound came only rarely these days and this realization of Murphy’s moment of training didn’t warrant it.

“The walls would stop being useful,” Tanin said. “They could be breached by anything with intelligence.”

“Correct. What else.”

“We’d have to move into the city?”

“No. The infestation is too high. The cities are still untenable.”

Tanin sat in the dirt, sending a small cloud of ash billowing up around her while Murphy tended the still. “Become nomadic?”

Murphy nodded. “That’s one possibility. It’s not one I like. We’d be forced to scavenge instead of raise our crops. Much of the country’s buried in ash. We’d lose people.”

“We’ve already lost people.” Against her better judgment, Tanin spit, hating the ash cloud that puffed up when her saliva hit the ground.

Murphy turned his head, slightly. “Please tell me you’re not going to get into a pissing contest over personal loss.”

“. . . No.”

“No, sir.”

 Tanin grimaced. “No, sir.”

Murphy set down his bottle and hunkered beside the girl. His eyes sought hers, burrowing deep. Tanin sat up.

“I tell you these things because you have a chance,” the old man said. “I don’t meet many people I can say that to. You’re different. I see it. Do you believe me?”

Tanin met her mentor’s gaze with confidence. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.”

He shoved her over and sprang to his feet. Tanin splashed into the ash with a yelp, and instantly kicked out one booted foot toward Murphy. He skipped backward, dodging the blow.

“Not now,” he warned, though a paternal smile tickled at the corners of his mouth. “We still have—”

A gunshot echoed past them, the deep ka-CHUNK of a shotgun.

The pair of them leaped, running full speed across the naked plain toward Home Base. Murphy pulled his sword as he ran, a battered hunk of metal he claimed had once been used as a stage prop. It had taken a very long conversation with Tanin to explain what a stage show was; that there was a time when people had enough leisure to memorize entire books of words and recite them on a stage in front of people. A truly odd concept for one born into a world where agriculture and combat were the two primary daily activities. Combat had dwindled over time, as the sick were slowly thinned out, but she knew from experience attacks could come and would come at any time.

Like now.

Firing a gun, like leisure time, was a rarity due to scarcity. So much ammunition had been spent by so few during in the early years of the outbreak that what little remained was usually conserved as much as possible. One of many drawbacks to such a policy was that people weren’t afforded the opportunity to practice. Shotguns thus became the favorite of most survivors, as it was more of a point-and-shoot weapon compared to rifles or handguns. Still they remained weapons of last resort; better to rely on hand-to-hand weapons.

And so Tanin and Murphy ran, then ran faster as a second blast went off near Home Base. Whatever they  were facing, it was big and it was bad.